peek into my soul. and snoop around for a while.

Leave a comment



When you develop an infatuation for someone, you always find a reason to believe that this is exactly the person for you. It doesn’t need to be a good reason.

Taking photographs of the night sky for example. Now in the long run, that’s just the kind of dumb, irritating habit that would cause you to split up.

But in the haze of infatuation, its just what you’ve been searching for all these years.

from the movie The Beach lol

Im in love with Virginie Ledoyen (Francois in the movie)

Leave a comment

Maybe next lifetime….

I feel this way about you.  The more I fight it off,  the more I seem to lose.

So right, but so wrong.

To many things in the way. To many rules I’m unwilling to break. To many missed opportunities.

Maybe in the next lifetime…?

or now….gotta change the game.



its been awhile since ive posted… but here it goes..

So..Im not a religious person, and everyone one that talks to me about it may either agree with me or hate me for my views on religion.

I believe in god/higher power, but I dont believe in the church/religion.

neways thats a whole pandoras box I do not want to get into right now.


weird/different/something to think about thing happened to me a while… … ago.  My work softball team was having a practice at a park in the valley.  We played catch while waiting for the rest of the team to show up.  I noticed a latino guy hanging around.. kinda watching us..rather watching me.  Kinda weird kinda made me suspicious and honestly it kinda creeped me out.  I ignore it.

Actually..not really dude musta been out there an hour


We take a break…(mind you I forgot about the dude) and im thing I know I see that guy walking right towards me. I’m like WTF….so I kinda tense up thinking ima have to fight or something..but the guy says hi and asks if I found god.

Under any other circumstances im the type that is sarcastic at people who ask this question..but this time seemed a lil different.  The guy looked distressed…maybe even sad.

So the guy asks about the way I walk, and I give him my generic answer.  I’m not sure if he understood me.  Or cares about the reason.

He then asks if he can pray for me.

Honestly I really did not know what to do at this point. Didnt know if I should be weirded out by it or be thankful that someone was thinking that much about me to want to pray for me.


As he’s praying I can visibly see him..hes almost in tears. He started praying in english but asked if it was ok in spanish….all I could do was nod.

he then goes to his knees and puts his hands on my legs while still praying. still visibly distressed.

this happened pretty fast..well to me neway.. but nonetheless it is something I dont think im ever going to forget.

After he was done it seemed like he wiped the tears out of his eyes, and said thank you to me.

I still dont know why he would thank me.

I dont even remember If I thanked him. I should have.

He said something along the lines of believe in god he is our savior.and a few other things…but It was hard through his accent.

But I understood.  Somethings really dont have to have a perfect explanation.  Somehow you just know.

Idk why its taken me so long to acknowledge something of this magnitude.  I havnt …to be honest with you talked about it much.

Im still  stunned.

No words can fully describe the whole experience.

Never thought that perfect strangers can have such a profound effect on me.

funny now that I think about it…he was there and gone in a flash.  Didnt hang around to watch anymore..just made a direct line out of sight.

I’m starting to believe someone was trying to tell me something….and I’m embarrassed to say that I dont quite know what it is.  Its something to figure out on my own I suppose.

Yes..I admit…my pride and my fear of embarrassment did not let me experience this fully..which I deeply regret.

and..yes theres more… I played it off as some “wierdo” praying for me..immediately after..which again I truly regret.

Ive never been a good prayer tho to my defense..Talking to “God” has always been sorta of a “why me” or “plz give” kinda I tend not to…. scratch that tried not to… .  Out of respect.  I know its lame…but I really dont think the almighty one likes beggars.  I have been trying  to make my own way…..which hasnt popped off the way I visioned it growing up.

My friends did not even know what happened…I made a big deal about it…Maybe it was meant to be that way.  I felt I was on an island while this was goin on.  No one really seemed to care.  Although it took place just feet from them.

Im glad it happened this way.  Otherwise, could have shrugged this off as another weird experience in the life of Lloyd Lopez.

Needless to say that man is an inspiration of what religion should be about. Not that I have changed my view on religion but it gave me faith in the kindness of strangers.