So…. I have come to the terrible realization that..Im lonely…well not completely, I have a loving family and friend support group that I know without a shadow of a doubt will pick me up when I fall.So how do I feel alone in such a loving group? Maybe in my mind if feel like im missing out on something…a companion, and its killing me softly..“you’ll find someone, you havnt met the right one, theres more fish in the sea” …..doesnt help when your rejected on a regular basis…doesnt help the longing in my heart….and I know how pick my self up everytime…maybe I left to much of myself on the floor…i know everyone gets rejected and I should “man up” but I feel like I have to fight harder…I might as well have some kind of physical disfigurement..well close enough. Think about it for a second..before you judge my rant…stand in my shoes and tell me you know how I feel…..I fall into those damn “friend” traps everytime. Too nice prob. No..for sure. but really.. how do I act? I dont play many games and I dont hide behind any false pretenses. I dont portray myself as something im not..I dont believe I act outta character. I am who I am..maybe I should be someone else….But Im not limited to just being me…give me an opportunity and I may bring you the moon.
confused most of the time
You know whats most frustrating tho, Ive change my self so much..grown so much only to feel like those steps have been in vain..or even fake confidence ….idk maybe im just blowing off some steam cuz ive had this shitty dull headache for like a week and maybe its made me more emo then usual. but fuck. what can I do but stick it out and wait for the next one to roll my way. Chasin Pavements.
sums it up for me right now….wish things can fall into place for once.
bottom line is I just want to be happy…do I deserve it?